The TARDIS vworp vworps its way into a spaceship-y looking storage room. It sounds decidedly unwell. The Doctor and Rose walk out the door, and he makes worried sounds while stroking the TARDIS. Rose says if he's worried, they can leave and go somewhere else, and they both fall about laughing.
Marines: Those crazy kids and their lack of self-preservation! But seriously, watching them laugh in those last two gifs is everything.
K: LITERALLY EVERYTHING.
Lab. A scientist we can't see hits a button and electricity crackles. He tells someone else that the prototype has passed every test and is working. In the shadows, a man says that "working" isn't the correct word because that would apply only to machines. The man comes out of the shadows so that we see he's in a motorized chair.
Kirsti: I flail with excitement because it's Owen from Vicar of Dibley!!! Excuse me while I spend the rest of the episode expecting him to talk about how he's late because his sheep exploded or something.
Kirsti: I flail with excitement because it's Owen from Vicar of Dibley!!! Excuse me while I spend the rest of the episode expecting him to talk about how he's late because his sheep exploded or something.
We open in a church at night, a priest and a nun tidying away the hymn books as the spooky indoor wind of spookiness messes with some candles.
Kirsti: Nuns, creepy music and spooky indoor wind? Always a good start...
Anna: They’re about to leave when a man on the balcony (Andy) claims that God isn’t with them—and if he is, he’s not a nice bloke. The priest tries to talk him down but Andy promptly shoots himself in the head. What a drama queen.
~~SATAN’S SCREENSAVER!~~
Kirsti: Nuns, creepy music and spooky indoor wind? Always a good start...
Anna: They’re about to leave when a man on the balcony (Andy) claims that God isn’t with them—and if he is, he’s not a nice bloke. The priest tries to talk him down but Andy promptly shoots himself in the head. What a drama queen.
~~SATAN’S SCREENSAVER!~~
A group of monks approach a castle and a bald one, the head monk presumably, tells a man that they want the house, and they will be taking it now. The owner is like LOL okay, do you want my wife, too? But Bald Head Monk isn't kidding around and says that he will take that shit with his fists. He kicks Home Owner to the ground and a fun(ny) fight scene develops as Bald Head Monk orders the other monks to remove their hoods, revealing a group of Not Monks who are actually Ninjas with badass fighting sticks. They fight their way through the entire castle, taking it over. Learning martial arts would be so be worth it if it kept you from having to sign a 30-year mortgage loan.
I have no idea what I did this weekend, except discover that procrastinating the watching of Gotham is an amazing way to make a weekend absolutely disappear. Somewhere in the procrastination fever dream of my weekend, I watched half a season of X-Men: The Animated Series because I was sick and decided to extend my Gotham-vacation.
I don't ever wanna go home!
But alas, even the best vacations must end.
Let's do this.
But alas, even the best vacations must end.
Let's do this.
We open in Cicero, Indiana where a (presumably divorced) father is dropping his daughter home. Something’s clearly got her spooked, as she runs straight to her mum—according to dad, she pitched a fit. She missed her mother and doesn’t want to stay at her dad’s any more. “He’s mean, and there are monsters there,” she complains—her mother comforts her, as we cut to the dad’s house.
Like most homeowners in this series, the dad seems to have a Basement Of Don’t Go In There, and – bonus! – it’s filled with lots of woodwork tools. This can only end well. He’s making a wooden rocking horse, which is one leg away from completion - is that for his daughter? ‘Cause if so no wonder she doesn't want to stay with him, he’s hilariously out of touch; she’s about five years too old for a rocking horse.
Like most homeowners in this series, the dad seems to have a Basement Of Don’t Go In There, and – bonus! – it’s filled with lots of woodwork tools. This can only end well. He’s making a wooden rocking horse, which is one leg away from completion - is that for his daughter? ‘Cause if so no wonder she doesn't want to stay with him, he’s hilariously out of touch; she’s about five years too old for a rocking horse.
It's kind of weird because episode 13 is generally the Halloween episode but no one has mentioned Halloween. Instead, the Liars are crashing the Ravenswood-party-that-requires-a-costume-and-is-also-in-a-graveyard. The girls are all, "WTF. Who throws a party in a graveyard?" and the answer is apparently, "Ravenswood" and not, "well, who goes to an Adam Lambert murder Halloween train party, GIRLS?" or "who actually attends a party in a graveyard."
BUT ANY EXCUSE FOR GORGEOUS GIRLS IN COSTUME!
Sweeney: Gorgeous girls in gorgeous, elaborate period costumes. TV teenagers have the best closets.
BUT ANY EXCUSE FOR GORGEOUS GIRLS IN COSTUME!
Sweeney: Gorgeous girls in gorgeous, elaborate period costumes. TV teenagers have the best closets.
First and foremost, Kirsti is the long time fan, this is my second watch and Sweeney is the first time watcher. As always, we try to keep things as spoiler-free as we can, for the benefit of the Snow.
I started watching Doctor Who and quit after 1.5 episodes because it was boring me to tears. At some time while season 7 was still airing, Kirsti convinced me to power through season 1, with the expectation that it would get way better. And so I did (except I skipped episode 3. It's the only episode I've never seen.) and I fell in love.
Kirsti: I find it really interesting that so many people have skipped episode 3 of season 1.
I started watching Doctor Who and quit after 1.5 episodes because it was boring me to tears. At some time while season 7 was still airing, Kirsti convinced me to power through season 1, with the expectation that it would get way better. And so I did (except I skipped episode 3. It's the only episode I've never seen.) and I fell in love.
Kirsti: I find it really interesting that so many people have skipped episode 3 of season 1.
Okay, so I first saw this episode like two months after reading Devil in the White City. I barricaded myself in my bedroom after it aired. Is that a spoiler? Whatever. Also, I feel like I need to tell you guys that I'm not intentionally picking Dean gifs over Sam gifs. The internet apparently just loves Dean more... Anyway, let's get to the episode, shall we?
Philadelphia. A young blonde complains over the phone about the flickering lights in her apartment and orders the super to come deal with it. She notices black goo pouring from a light switch, and goes over to investigate. She peers at the light switch and a bloodshot eye appears inside the wall. She screams, which is legit.
FLAME ON!
Philadelphia. A young blonde complains over the phone about the flickering lights in her apartment and orders the super to come deal with it. She notices black goo pouring from a light switch, and goes over to investigate. She peers at the light switch and a bloodshot eye appears inside the wall. She screams, which is legit.
FLAME ON!
After the horror of THE LATEST BAD THING, the girls sit around Montgomery Manse drinking tea and brooding with Aria. Hanna breezes in like a breath of fresh air, with her bubbly personality and bag of sick coping trashy pop culture, which is how Snark Ladies deal too.
Lorraine: Any time I'm sick, I think, "at least there's more time for TV!" #adult
Sweeney: The girls discuss whether or not Meredith Center Stage is sincere in her confusion over this latest development with Byron.
Lorraine: Any time I'm sick, I think, "at least there's more time for TV!" #adult
Sweeney: The girls discuss whether or not Meredith Center Stage is sincere in her confusion over this latest development with Byron.
Aria is watching a black and white film when her father comes in and PAUSES THE MOVIE. WHO ARE YOU, BYRON MONTGOMERY? What murder are we still trying to figure out? Alison's? Byron did it. He pauses other people's movies and is therefore evil.
Really, he wants to talk about the fire someone started at that charity race last episode. Aria says they talked about it enough when Shitbag Montgomery was accusing her and the Liars of setting it. As it turns out, the principal called Byron because they've identified the real culprit. Byron's all, "sorry," and Aria uses her Big Eyes to give him a death glare. She grabs the control and unpauses the movie. Byron tries to chat about the movie, saying the dude keeps a severed head in a hatbox and Aria looks at him like, "OH MY GOD, DAD. NOW YOU ARE GOING TO SPOIL THE MOVIE?"
Really, he wants to talk about the fire someone started at that charity race last episode. Aria says they talked about it enough when Shitbag Montgomery was accusing her and the Liars of setting it. As it turns out, the principal called Byron because they've identified the real culprit. Byron's all, "sorry," and Aria uses her Big Eyes to give him a death glare. She grabs the control and unpauses the movie. Byron tries to chat about the movie, saying the dude keeps a severed head in a hatbox and Aria looks at him like, "OH MY GOD, DAD. NOW YOU ARE GOING TO SPOIL THE MOVIE?"
Angel sits at a conference room table, anxiously tapping his fingers and rearranging his paperwork.
Kirsti: I'm already distracted because he's wearing his leather coat for the first time in aaaaaaaaaaaaages. YAY.
Lor: He calls Harmony and she tells him she's called everyone for the meeting already. Angel yells at his phone about how he's still sitting there alone, and Harm comes to talk to him in person. She gives us the expository rundown of where everyone is: Wesley is baby-sitting Illyria, Gunn is still in the hospital (as if Angel wouldn't know that) and Lorne is MIA because, and this is what it all comes down to, Fred is dead.
Kirsti: I'm already distracted because he's wearing his leather coat for the first time in aaaaaaaaaaaaages. YAY.
Lor: He calls Harmony and she tells him she's called everyone for the meeting already. Angel yells at his phone about how he's still sitting there alone, and Harm comes to talk to him in person. She gives us the expository rundown of where everyone is: Wesley is baby-sitting Illyria, Gunn is still in the hospital (as if Angel wouldn't know that) and Lorne is MIA because, and this is what it all comes down to, Fred is dead.
A security guard is on his rounds in a darkened...IDK, warehouse? Factory? It looks like the back end of the brewery I used to work at, anyway. He hears a noise and reports in before going to investigate. Smart, but not smart enough, dude. (L: Right, because he is still investigating darkened basements.) He heads down a flight of stairs, accompanied by the Orchestra of Dude, You Gonna Die. He screams a little at the bottom, but only in surprise because he's face to face with the ware-facto-brewery's plumber. He reports in that everything's fine, then sees the plumber get thrown through the air. He rushes up the stairs (there's that "not smart enough" part) only to get attacked himself. Something slices at his face and he screams as we see a shadow attack him.
Lorraine: Everyone say it together: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.
Lorraine: Everyone say it together: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS.
I first suggested that we cover the original Buffy movie way back in August 2012, not long after we started covering Buffy. Somehow, it ended up as a "this would be a good way to finish things" idea, and then with the birth of #snarkathon in December it became a "watch it alone-together with the Traumateers" thing. Aww.
Anyway, let's get to the movie, shall we?
We open in Dark Ages Europe, where we're given approximately two seconds of Slayer backstory - one girl in all the world, yada yada yada, she has a creepy birthmark on her chest known as "The Mark of the Coven".
Anyway, let's get to the movie, shall we?
We open in Dark Ages Europe, where we're given approximately two seconds of Slayer backstory - one girl in all the world, yada yada yada, she has a creepy birthmark on her chest known as "The Mark of the Coven".
Lawrence, Kansas. A young woman (who we last saw reporting on how awesome Jasmine is!) sits in her darkened kitchen, surrounded by moving boxes. She pulls out her wedding photo and tears up. She stops herself when her daughter walks in and says that she can't sleep because there's something in her closet. Upstairs, Widow!Mom checks the closet and declares it free from monsters, though the cameraman lurking in the depths would indicate otherwise. She tucks her daughter, Sari, into bed. Sari says that she doesn't like this house, but Widow!Mom says it's just because she's not used to it, and that they'll be very happy there. She turns the light out and goes to leave, but Sari demands that she first barricade the closet shut with a chair.