Previously: RORY LIVES! Also, the Doctor got locked in a box and the universe exploded, but whatever… RORY! — The Big Bang Dani: We open 1,894 years after the last...
Previously: The Tyrells got whooped. — The Spoils of War Democracy Diva: The previouslies take us back to early Season 1, with Catelyn saving Bran from a dagger, so you know...
Chelsea: We open on Dawson and Pacey fishing, because they're friends again now? Dawson drops the bombshell on Pacey - he likes Gretchen. Pacey makes a Say Anything reference, which only makes me love him a thousand times more.
Kirsti: Dawson is 100% the guy who would stand outside your house holding a boombox over his head. 100%.
Chelsea: Dawson brings up the fact that the last year would have been so much easier if Pacey had just been upfront with how he felt about Joey (woah, dude, maybe ease up on poking that particular wound) (K: Oh puh-leeeze, Dawson. If Pacey had told you about Joey, you would have cracked the shits) and Pacey says "yeah, but sisters are off limits.
Kirsti: Dawson is 100% the guy who would stand outside your house holding a boombox over his head. 100%.
Chelsea: Dawson brings up the fact that the last year would have been so much easier if Pacey had just been upfront with how he felt about Joey (woah, dude, maybe ease up on poking that particular wound) (K: Oh puh-leeeze, Dawson. If Pacey had told you about Joey, you would have cracked the shits) and Pacey says "yeah, but sisters are off limits.
After approximately 2 weeks worth of continuous previouslies, we go to the credits: King's Landing, Bolton Winterfaux, The Wall, Braavos, Meereen and Dorne.
Democracy Diva: WINTERFAUX. A+. That is the only thing we are allowed to call it until a Stark is safe there again. (So, that's the only thing we're ever gonna call it, I guess.)
Mari: We're starting this season with the exact right expectations.
Democracy Diva: WINTERFAUX. A+. That is the only thing we are allowed to call it until a Stark is safe there again. (So, that's the only thing we're ever gonna call it, I guess.)
Mari: We're starting this season with the exact right expectations.
Previously: Bella walked towards some skeevy guys and heard Edward’s voice in her head. — Marines: Now would be a good a time as any to link you to this interesting...
The girls return from a shopping trip and talk about how fun the shopping trip was. Prue says it's way more fun than vanquishing demons and everyone who has to watch them vanquish these demons would probably agree.
Stephanie: Maybe vanquishing would be more exciting if it involved more than a bad poem that turns demons into sparkles and twinkle lights in three seconds.
Mari: One of the girls turns on the little kitchen TV. There is a report on the news about a street brawl. Prue asks if they think this kind of violence has been happening a lot lately and Phoebe just quotes her Sociology 101 class.
Stephanie: Maybe vanquishing would be more exciting if it involved more than a bad poem that turns demons into sparkles and twinkle lights in three seconds.
Mari: One of the girls turns on the little kitchen TV. There is a report on the news about a street brawl. Prue asks if they think this kind of violence has been happening a lot lately and Phoebe just quotes her Sociology 101 class.
I'm so scared.
Democracy Diva: Me too.
Mari: Camp Liar, Liar, Heir on Fire. Icicles are melting and Melisandre looks super pleased with herself. She goes into Stannis's tent to continue being pleased with herself and the Lord of Light. She says that Stannis will for sure capture Winterfell because the Lord of Light has shown her Bolton banners burning. Melisandre is trying to be affectionate with Stannis but I guess he's a little bit bummed about setting his daughter on fire, or something. He leaves her, bumping her in the face as he goes.
Democracy Diva: Me too.
Mari: Camp Liar, Liar, Heir on Fire. Icicles are melting and Melisandre looks super pleased with herself. She goes into Stannis's tent to continue being pleased with herself and the Lord of Light. She says that Stannis will for sure capture Winterfell because the Lord of Light has shown her Bolton banners burning. Melisandre is trying to be affectionate with Stannis but I guess he's a little bit bummed about setting his daughter on fire, or something. He leaves her, bumping her in the face as he goes.
A bunch of old women stand in a circle, calling on something named Cryto. One of the ladies has a little coughing fit, but she urges the others to keep chanting. Even though they've been at it for 15 minutes, she's sure Cryto will show up.
Stephanie: Before we get any further can we just take a moment to go WTF at the weird Leatherfaceness of this episode's title?
Mari: Absolutely!
Stephanie: Before we get any further can we just take a moment to go WTF at the weird Leatherfaceness of this episode's title?
Mari: Absolutely!
Prison. Two guards come to collect a prisoner who is Antonio Sabato, Jr. You'll probably recall that he was on the show previously but may not recall why. Basically, I'm describing myself. Thankfully they say his name right away so I don't have to keep typing Antonio Sabato, Jr.
Stephanie: I only remember Bane as the guy Prue made out with when she put on leather and became a Bad Girl for a day. I don't remember why he's in jail. I also don't care.
Stephanie: I only remember Bane as the guy Prue made out with when she put on leather and became a Bad Girl for a day. I don't remember why he's in jail. I also don't care.
We start with an incredibly long montage. At Leery Manor, Dawson stares moodily at the ugly-ass painting that Aunt Gwen gave him. Joey stares sadly up at Dawson's window. Pacey is...watering his boat?? IDEK, you guys. He's hosing down the boat while wearing an awful Hawaiian shirt. Jen walks out of Chez Grams to find Henry standing outside like the creepy serial killer that he is, holding a sign that reads "Jen Lindley: would you please forgive me?" It's like that scene in Love Actually but weirder. Jen nopes her way back inside, and Grams smirks.
Democracy Diva: Stop smiling, Grams. This douchenozzle wants to guilt your granddaughter into sex.
Democracy Diva: Stop smiling, Grams. This douchenozzle wants to guilt your granddaughter into sex.
We open in the imprinting room with Paul approaching and then curiously fondling the chair. He walks around it a bit before sitting down and making a constipated face.
Sweeney: Watching TV I often find myself wondering at the frequency with which the direction was clearly, "Now look real constipated!" This has to be on purpose. I refuse to believe this constipated face epidemic is pure coincidence.
Marines: Plus, the only reason to sit in the nefarious, mind wiping chair is because you are constipated and you need to sit ASAP because of discomfort.
Sweeney: Watching TV I often find myself wondering at the frequency with which the direction was clearly, "Now look real constipated!" This has to be on purpose. I refuse to believe this constipated face epidemic is pure coincidence.
Marines: Plus, the only reason to sit in the nefarious, mind wiping chair is because you are constipated and you need to sit ASAP because of discomfort.
Jen and Pacey are having a domestic moment, grocery shopping and arguing about what to cook for Thanksgiving at Grams’s, which is conveniently ruining their sex-buddies situation. Pacey blames Jen for the fact that this situation has not actually happened yet, and she just kinda laughs at his foreplay, which, RUDE. Then Jen comes up with the brilliant idea to do it immediately before/during/after the Grams Turkey Day God Fest '99.
Pacey says, uh, kinda have to spend the holiday with own my terrible family at some point. (K: I don't even want to think about how horrible a Witter family Thanksgiving would be...) (D: I'm thankful we were spared a scene at the Witter house.)
Pacey says, uh, kinda have to spend the holiday with own my terrible family at some point. (K: I don't even want to think about how horrible a Witter family Thanksgiving would be...) (D: I'm thankful we were spared a scene at the Witter house.)
Shrine O’Spielberg. Pacey struts in with some outdated film technology. Dawson’s working on a documentary for his mother that might air this Friday. (Why no one employed by her station can actually film this thing is a question only the Great Contrivance Spirit can answer.) Pacey just can’t believe Dawson’s willing to stop focusing on fantasy and film something real, even for a second.
Kirsti: Meanwhile, I spent this scene being distracted about the fact that Pacey's brought the gun show to town...
Diva: YUM.
Kirsti: Meanwhile, I spent this scene being distracted about the fact that Pacey's brought the gun show to town...
Diva: YUM.
We pick up exactly where we left off. The Doctor fights off the electricity and gathers it into a ball in one hand. "Deadly to humans, maybe!" he says, and shoves the electricity ball into the Slitheen's chest. It and MP Sugar writhe in pain.
DOOO WEEE OOOOH!
After the credits, we see that the Slitheen in the Cabinet Room and the one in Jackie's flat are both writhing in electricity covered pain too.
DOOO WEEE OOOOH!
After the credits, we see that the Slitheen in the Cabinet Room and the one in Jackie's flat are both writhing in electricity covered pain too.
The Halliwell Manor shakes. The P's come running down the stairs and Phoebe helpfully announces, "oh no! Not another after shock!" Thanks, Phoebe. I was almost there but now I really know what's going on! Phoebs says Prue is the only who who likes earthquakes.
The girls are tidying up in the kitchen when Prue gets a whiff of something foul. Piper has already smelled this smell and thinks it's coming from the basement. She called someone to check it out, all without ever discussing this with her sisters because exposition needed to happen now. In fact, the gasman has just arrived.
Prue freaks out because they are hosting some auction-house-related dinner at the Manor. Phoebe assures her that everything will be okay.
The girls are tidying up in the kitchen when Prue gets a whiff of something foul. Piper has already smelled this smell and thinks it's coming from the basement. She called someone to check it out, all without ever discussing this with her sisters because exposition needed to happen now. In fact, the gasman has just arrived.
Prue freaks out because they are hosting some auction-house-related dinner at the Manor. Phoebe assures her that everything will be okay.