Open with Joey in the guidance office, being told by an very well-coiffed counselor that "it suits you," the 'it' in this situation being the panicky doe-eyed look that Joey seems to have as a high school senior applying for colleges. Someone should probably tell the counselor that's just how her face is, though. Joey makes a crack about just going to clown college but the counselor reassures her that she's actually doing really well on the whole process. Except, of course, for a completely arbitrary (and possibly made up) peer-review from ‘the person who knows her best’ which will OF COURSE necessitate a choice between Pacey and Dawson.
After approximately 2 weeks worth of continuous previouslies, we go to the credits: King's Landing, Bolton Winterfaux, The Wall, Braavos, Meereen and Dorne.
Democracy Diva: WINTERFAUX. A+. That is the only thing we are allowed to call it until a Stark is safe there again. (So, that's the only thing we're ever gonna call it, I guess.)
Mari: We're starting this season with the exact right expectations.
Democracy Diva: WINTERFAUX. A+. That is the only thing we are allowed to call it until a Stark is safe there again. (So, that's the only thing we're ever gonna call it, I guess.)
Mari: We're starting this season with the exact right expectations.
I honestly kept forgetting to write this recap. I've never been so proud of my brain.
Anyway.
"Her sharp intake of breath is music to my dick."
Can I just start using "music to me [body part]" in real life now?
We start this chapter right in the middle of a goddamn conversation because EL James is the worst. If you'll recall, Ana wanted to talk about Grey's messed up childhood and he was like, "no. Vagina balls."
Anyway.
"Her sharp intake of breath is music to my dick."
Can I just start using "music to me [body part]" in real life now?
We start this chapter right in the middle of a goddamn conversation because EL James is the worst. If you'll recall, Ana wanted to talk about Grey's messed up childhood and he was like, "no. Vagina balls."
It's been a long time coming, friends, but WE FINALLY FINISHED ANOTHER SEASON. Cue Snark Lady dance party:
Democracy Diva: YAAAS WE DID IT, LET'S DANCE WITH PACEY UNTIL HE KEELS OVER!
K: What, like you're all surprised it features Pacey Witter? Please.
Dance party over, let's get down to business! On the main street in Capeside, Mitch and Gail get smoochy while Mitch thoughtfully informs us that Joey is Gail's maid of honour. This...makes literally no sense, but also I'm distracted by how hideous Joey's shoes are.
Democracy Diva: YAAAS WE DID IT, LET'S DANCE WITH PACEY UNTIL HE KEELS OVER!
K: What, like you're all surprised it features Pacey Witter? Please.
Dance party over, let's get down to business! On the main street in Capeside, Mitch and Gail get smoochy while Mitch thoughtfully informs us that Joey is Gail's maid of honour. This...makes literally no sense, but also I'm distracted by how hideous Joey's shoes are.
We start with an incredibly long montage. At Leery Manor, Dawson stares moodily at the ugly-ass painting that Aunt Gwen gave him. Joey stares sadly up at Dawson's window. Pacey is...watering his boat?? IDEK, you guys. He's hosing down the boat while wearing an awful Hawaiian shirt. Jen walks out of Chez Grams to find Henry standing outside like the creepy serial killer that he is, holding a sign that reads "Jen Lindley: would you please forgive me?" It's like that scene in Love Actually but weirder. Jen nopes her way back inside, and Grams smirks.
Democracy Diva: Stop smiling, Grams. This douchenozzle wants to guilt your granddaughter into sex.
Democracy Diva: Stop smiling, Grams. This douchenozzle wants to guilt your granddaughter into sex.
We open at Capeside High. Dawson gushes to Joey about a particular type of camera and how it's a million times better than shooting video and blah blah, I honestly don't give a fuck about anything this dude has to say. They head to the film classroom to get the camera, and Kendra's there fiddling with it. She and Joey exchange some polite small talk, then Dawson tells her to hand over the camera. She's all "LOL NOPE" because she just checked it out for the next month. He gapes like a goldfish and Kendra says that she cleared it with the film teacher. Dawson wants to know when he'll get the camera, and she tells him that film making is an art that can't be rushed.
Shrine o' Spielberg. Jen's reading Dawson's movie script while he freaks out in the background. When she finishes, he asks what she thinks, and she says "The truth truth or the what-Dawson-wants-to-hear truth?", which is totally legit. He assumes this means she hates it. She assures him that she doesn't hate it, but that it's fluff. I laugh hysterically because let's be perfectly honest here - Dawson is writing real person fan fic about him and Joey, and it is 10,000% fluff. Dawson gets offended, which only gets worse when Jen says that the script felt naive.
He rambles about "the age of innocence," and this officially sounds like the worst fan fic on the face of the earth, except maybe ones that are written in the second person.
Democracy Diva: And, you know, Fifty Shades of Grey.
He rambles about "the age of innocence," and this officially sounds like the worst fan fic on the face of the earth, except maybe ones that are written in the second person.
Democracy Diva: And, you know, Fifty Shades of Grey.
Leery Manor. Mitch pulls down the ladder to Dawson's bedroom, telling Dawson that he's just taking precautions against late night creeping around. Dawson tells his father that he's just in denial about the fact that his kid is "a sexual being." I throw up in my mouth.
Mitch asks if he and Joey are having sex, and Dawson replies that they aren't but biologically they can. I throw up some more because EW NO. He says that Mitch needs to accept that someday, his son will have sex and stop locking windows and removing ladders because it won't do any good. He follows that up with the notion that Mitch should just let him and Joey hang out alone in his room. Mitch is all "LOL NOPE" and leaves. Joey steps out of the closet (LOL) and starts kissing Dawson.
Mitch asks if he and Joey are having sex, and Dawson replies that they aren't but biologically they can. I throw up some more because EW NO. He says that Mitch needs to accept that someday, his son will have sex and stop locking windows and removing ladders because it won't do any good. He follows that up with the notion that Mitch should just let him and Joey hang out alone in his room. Mitch is all "LOL NOPE" and leaves. Joey steps out of the closet (LOL) and starts kissing Dawson.
Shrine o' Spielberg. Dawson mopes about the fact that Jen doesn't want to hang out any more now that they're exes and all. Because apparently when you dump someone, you should hang out with them all the time? IDEK. Joey "Voice of Reason" Potter informs him that it sounds like he doesn't want to admit it's over. She tells him there are three main areas to focus on in getting over Jen: 1. Public perception, 2. Prepare himself for Jen to date other people, 3. Having the inevitable "can we still be friends?" conversation with Jen. She asks what he'll say in regards to #3, and he has no idea. He wants to be friends, but he also doesn't because "how could you simply be friends with someone when every time you look at them, all you think about is how much more you really want them." Joey, inner pain poked with a stick, says that she thinks it can be done.
Shrine O'Spielberg. Dawson and Joey are watching yet another movie together, but he gets frustrated with it and shuts it off just before the end. He finds it unbelievable that a girl would decide which guy she wants to be with based on a drag race. Joey wisely points out that someone whose favorite movie is E.T. should not have such a problem with unrealistic films, but like everything else on this show, this is really about SEX.
Kirsti: Also, whose favourite movie is E.T.?! I was terrified of it when I was six, and I'm still terrified of it. Don't let that thing in your house, Elliott.
Kirsti: Also, whose favourite movie is E.T.?! I was terrified of it when I was six, and I'm still terrified of it. Don't let that thing in your house, Elliott.
We open in Dawson's Shrine o' Spielberg. A black and white movie comes to an end on the TV, and Joey's all "Cool, BYE." She claims it's because her sister's baby is due like NOW and she needs to help out. Dawson whines that they never watch just one movie on movie night, and she replies that there's a first time for everything. Like, for instance, Third Wheel Jen being there. Poor Jen - the actual girlfriend - looks hella awkward and is perched on a chair next to the bed, further proving that Dawson Leery is a douchebag. DUDE. Make some room on the bed for her.
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Democracy Diva: I am so glad the seating arrangements bothered you as much as they bothered me. If any two people are sharing the bed, shouldn't it be the people actually dating?
We open in Dawson's Shrine o' Spielberg. He's watching his footage back (read: creepily talking about how perfect Jen is) while Joey sasses about how Jen's future is sooooooooo predictable - she'll go to a small liberal arts college, major in art history, move back to Manhattan, marry a stockbroker, move to the suburbs and raise neurotically perfect children. Dawson changes the subject to what he should get his parents for their wedding anniversary, and um, NOTHING??? Unless buying your parents an anniversary present is a thing in America and I'm not aware of it?!
Democracy Diva: Yeah, definitely have never done that. I think maybe I gave them a card when we had a big dinner for their 30th anniversary, but in general, this is not a thing in my circles.
Democracy Diva: Yeah, definitely have never done that. I think maybe I gave them a card when we had a big dinner for their 30th anniversary, but in general, this is not a thing in my circles.
Remember that time like two years ago that Lor and Sweeney covered a bunch of pilot episodes and one of them was Dawson's Creek? SURPRISE! We're going to cover the rest of it. I was a Dawson's Creek fan from basically the minute it aired in Australia, although I stopped watching sometime around the point where they all went off to college because it was the contrivance-iest contrivance ever that they would all end up in Boston. But whatever. I revisited the series a couple of years ago, and re-established the fact that I will always and forever be on Team Pacey.
Democracy Diva: I wasn't particularly interested in Dawson's Creek when it was new, but I developed a mid-aughts interest in it and have seen the first few seasons.
Democracy Diva: I wasn't particularly interested in Dawson's Creek when it was new, but I developed a mid-aughts interest in it and have seen the first few seasons.
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