In the process of setting up this post, I realised which episode this is, and NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE. DO NOT WANT. Can we just skip ahead and pretend this one doesn't happen?? No?
Well, fuck. Let's raid the Supernatural drinks fridge and do this thing.
Samantha: Oh my god, I started drinking a full 24 hours before in preparation. NO PLEASE.
K: We open with a middle-aged dude in a limo pulling up under a freeway interchange. He buries a box in the dirt. "Mr Pendleton, I presume?" comes a British voice from behind him. He turns around and it's MARK SHEPPARD!! Mark Sheppard is in at least one episode of basically every show I've ever loved.
We open at the Motel of the Week. (S: I'm so excited I'm so excited I'm so excited.) "Supernatural is filmed before a live studio audience," Dean voiceovers. Music tinkles and the entire colour palate is a million times brighter and happier than usual. Inside the motel room - which has a huge and very clean kitchen - Dean has made a comically oversized sandwich. A studio audience offscreen cheers and claps. "I'm gonna need a bigger mouth," he says. Canned laughter.
Sam enters to cheers and applause. Dean asks what's happening. "Just the end of the world!" Sam says, all upbeat.
Sam enters to cheers and applause. Dean asks what's happening. "Just the end of the world!" Sam says, all upbeat.
The previouslies remind us of the Croatoan virus and I suddenly get very excited because I just remembered which episode this is. Also how much of a bitch it was to find gifs for Croatoan when I recapped it JUST after Croatoan Day last year. BUT I DIGRESS. (S: Croatoan is one of my top ten favorite episodes so I also get excited for this one.) (K: Legit.)
Dean pulls the Bromobile up on a city street and hops out. An escapee from the Book of Mormon cast asks if Dean's taken time to consider God's plan for him. "Too friggin' much, pal," Dean says with an eyeroll.
Dean pulls the Bromobile up on a city street and hops out. An escapee from the Book of Mormon cast asks if Dean's taken time to consider God's plan for him. "Too friggin' much, pal," Dean says with an eyeroll.
After a hundred thousand years of previouslies (M: One year for every current season of Supernatural...) (K: #accurate), we open in Bobby's hospital room. He's sitting in a wheelchair, staring sadly out the window. I find it hilarious that he's wearing a dressing gown and his trucker's cap. Sam watches from the doorway. Dean appears and says they have to cheer Bobby up. Sam says they need to prepare themselves for Bobby not bouncing back this time. Dean looks feelsy.
We open basically where we left off, with Sam locked in Bobby's panic room. Dean opens the hatch on the door and Sam demands to be let out. But Dean's all "LOL NOPE" because Junkie Sam needs to get clean. Sam insists that it's a bullshit comparison because he's not doing it to get high. He's doing it to get strong enough to defeat Lilith. Dean scoffs and says he's being weak and pathetic.
Sam snaps that killing Lilith is what matters, and Dean's all "I TOTALLY AGREE". That's why he and Bobby are going to deal with it while Sam stays in the naughty corner and thinks about what he's done. Dean shuts the hatch and walks away.
Sam snaps that killing Lilith is what matters, and Dean's all "I TOTALLY AGREE". That's why he and Bobby are going to deal with it while Sam stays in the naughty corner and thinks about what he's done. Dean shuts the hatch and walks away.
We open with Dean sitting on the end of the world's smallest dock. He's fishing, and he looks peaceful and happy for the first time in EVER.
Castiel appears behind him and says they need to talk. Dean's all "Noooooo, get out of my happy place", and asks if he's dreaming. Cas confirms that he is, and says they need to talk somewhere private. Dean's confused because they're in his head. Cas is all "Yeah, people could be listening". He hands Dean a piece of paper, tells him to meet him there ASAP, and disappears. Dean wakes with a start.
Castiel appears behind him and says they need to talk. Dean's all "Noooooo, get out of my happy place", and asks if he's dreaming. Cas confirms that he is, and says they need to talk somewhere private. Dean's confused because they're in his head. Cas is all "Yeah, people could be listening". He hands Dean a piece of paper, tells him to meet him there ASAP, and disappears. Dean wakes with a start.
We open in a messy house, with a scruffy looking guy asleep in his underwear on the sofa. The shot flickers and he twitches in his sleep, then we're thrown into a montage of shots of various things, including Sam and the Bromobile in a weird grey-scale. Then we get a close up of a guy reaching for a comic book and the colour resolves. The boys walk in and introduce themselves as Agents DeYoung and Shaw, both of whom are in Styx. WOO, FAKE NAMES.
We open to a bunch of car alarms going off. The cars are all smashed to shit. Castiel walks into the middle of them and raises a hand. The alarms stop, because he's...the car whisperer or some shit? I don't even know any more. (M: A little known and seldom useful angel power.)
Cas walks through the cars, looking like a sad puppy, and stops by the corpse of a blonde woman in a pretty white virginal dress. He pulls a piece of cloth away from her throat to reveal a bloody wound. "Goodbye, sister," he says sadly. Police cars speed towards him, sirens blaring.
Cas walks through the cars, looking like a sad puppy, and stops by the corpse of a blonde woman in a pretty white virginal dress. He pulls a piece of cloth away from her throat to reveal a bloody wound. "Goodbye, sister," he says sadly. Police cars speed towards him, sirens blaring.
First things first, friends. I was a teenager in the 90s, so obviously all I can think of when I see this episode title is this:
We should really #snarkathon that, now that I think of it.
Marines: Not a bad idea. I'll remind you of this when it's your turn to wake up stupid early on Sunday to lead one again.
K: Thank you.
We open at a mental hospital. A girl named Anna stares spacily out the window as she's informed that she's in a mental hospital.
We should really #snarkathon that, now that I think of it.
Marines: Not a bad idea. I'll remind you of this when it's your turn to wake up stupid early on Sunday to lead one again.
K: Thank you.
We open at a mental hospital. A girl named Anna stares spacily out the window as she's informed that she's in a mental hospital.
Sam watches his brother sleep in the Motel of the Week, then sneaks out the door. Outside, Ruby 2.0 picks him up and they speed off into the night. Back in the motel room, Dean has nightmares about being in Hell, and wakes to find Castiel sitting on the bed.
Marines: Castiel, friend. We're not fond of characters who watch people sleep around here. Just FYI.
K: Truth.
Dean jumps, and asks what Castiel wants. "You have to stop him," Castiel says. He presses two fingers to Dean's forehead, and Dean wakes up on a bench.
Marines: Castiel, friend. We're not fond of characters who watch people sleep around here. Just FYI.
K: Truth.
Dean jumps, and asks what Castiel wants. "You have to stop him," Castiel says. He presses two fingers to Dean's forehead, and Dean wakes up on a bench.
A woman sleeps on her sofa. The TV turns to static in the background and the lights flicker. She wakes when the phone rings, and sits up with a jolt, her breath fogging the air. She rushes to her closet, and shoves the clothes aside to reveal a typical hunter's arsenal. She flicks on an EMF meter, and it goes crazy. Meanwhile, Bobby leaves a message saying he could use her help on something big. She loads a shotgun and stalks through her apartment.
Sweeney: We kick off the episode upstairs at Brooding Hotel. Angel looks out the window as the tinkly pianos of feels play. We're starting with the pianos of feels? I have no idea what's about to happen, but as I'm not actually recovered from Buffy, I am upset about this.
Lorraine: I trust the Piano pretty implicitly too, so I'm upset about being upset and not yet knowing why I'm so upset. Way to go, episode.
Lorraine: I trust the Piano pretty implicitly too, so I'm upset about being upset and not yet knowing why I'm so upset. Way to go, episode.
Sweeney: This episode begins with a party at Cordelia's and I get excited because I've seen fun gifs of this episode! Cordelia jokes that a party must be Angel's idea of hell and he says, "Actually in hell you tend to know a lot of the people." LOL. A+ for you.
K: I'm going to use that excuse next time I have to go to a party, because Angel at a party = GPO-freaking-Y.
Sweeney: Best excuse ever. Cordelia scurries off to see some guy she's excited about and Angel watches Wesley dance awkwardly and gets the funniest little "You crazy" look ever. I'm so happy about everything that's happening.
K: I'm going to use that excuse next time I have to go to a party, because Angel at a party = GPO-freaking-Y.
Sweeney: Best excuse ever. Cordelia scurries off to see some guy she's excited about and Angel watches Wesley dance awkwardly and gets the funniest little "You crazy" look ever. I'm so happy about everything that's happening.