Tag: tragic magic vagina

New Moon Chapter 23 – A kind of toilet

Bella wakes up again. At the beginning of every chapter she must wake up. It is the prophecy.
She immediately remembers she had a bad dream that was also a thing that actually happened to her and takes like, 3 paragraphs to remind us of this thing that just happened to her. 700% of this book is just Bella rehashing things that we already had to suffer through once. In another life, we Snark Ladies must have sinned terribly.

Orphan Black S02 E06 – Ethics schmethics.

Clone Sister Camping! Camping is not a thing that I want to do ever, but I imagine that camping with your homicidal twin is a new level discomfort, care of nature and the outdoors. Helena, being humanized a little more every episode, shares her can of beans with Sarah and insists she has to eat something. Sarah notes that Cold River isn't on a map. She wants to know where it is exactly, but Helena won't tell her, because if Sarah knew, she'd leave Helena behind. Sarah doesn't refute this. (S: Awkward.)
Helena abruptly changes the subject and asks if she can also have babies since Sarah has Kira and they are twins. Sarah connects that this probably has something to do with what the Proletheans did to her, but Helena isn't forthcoming.

Angel S04 E18 – Flower power

Gina Torres gushes about how wonderful the gross warehouse is while Connor - still covered in blood - and Angel fawn over her. She kneels next to a comatose Cordy and thanks her for having her free will taken away so that she could exist protecting her. She tells her to be at peace, then gushes some more about how perfect everything is. There's one thing that's not perfect, Angel interjects. And that's the fact that he came there to kill her. He hands her his sword and says that he deserves to be punished. She takes it and says that she can feel his suffering, but that the suffering ends now. He drops his head, bracing himself for the blow, but it never comes. He looks up to find her gone. Cue Electric Cellos.
After the credits, Fred's scurrying around the office, cleaning up fallen books as Lorne watches and sips a cocktail because he's the only sane character in this show. He tells her to stop because she's making him twitchy.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S07 E06 – I can hear the bells

I'm gonna go ahead and start by saying that I refuse to give out gold stars, because we would literally be here all day, because I just checked the transcript and the word "him" appears like 50 times in this episode. (S: A sound policy.)
After the previouslies, we're at Xander's Gift Apartment. He walks in the front door, informing Spike that he's now going to be living in the Cupboard Under the Stairs. (Fine, it's the walk-in closet, which Xander is now claiming is a room. But HOW COULD I NOT?) He informs Buffy that he hates this plan (you're not alone, Xand), and she reminds him that Spike - who's hovering in the doorway - needs an invitation to enter. Xander reluctantly gives one while I'm busy being distracted by Buffy's sudden and horrific fringe.

Angel S02 E16 – You can’t sit with us.

We sometimes talk about people watching Buffy but not Angel, which I imagine is a lot more common than the other way around. HOW COULD YOU WATCH THIS SHOW AND NOT WATCH THE FIRST THREE SEASONS OF BUFFY? Granted, Buffy knowledge is occasionally troublesome for watching this show because this show contradicts that at turns, but seriously seriously, I don't understand those people. I bring this up now because this episode begins with Angel's sit-up-and-gasp from the previous episode and moves into him running out into the rain. This time, though, the potential Tragic Magic Vagina belongs to Darla, who follows him outside and tells him not to fight it. Roll electric cellos.
After the credits, Darla's talking about how getting rid of the soul leaves a bitterness.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer S04 E18 – Nudge nudge wink wink

First of all, Maurice Sendak would be spinning in his grave to know that the title of his book had been stolen for the trainwreck that is this episode. (S: +1, especially as I just declared my love for this book on this blog.) Second of all, I HATE THIS EPISODE SO MUCH OMFG. Right. Now that we've got that over with, let's get this horrific trainwreck over with, shall we?
We open in the cemetery where Buffy, in a pair of shiny snakeskin pants, is fighting a vampire. You know, just for a change. She throws him across the cemetery to Riley who starts punching while Buffy loads her crossbow. Riley holds the vamp still for Buffy to shoot, then a blue horned demon appears out of nowhere to rescue the vamp. She drops the crossbow and heads into the fray.