We open with a news bulletin in Milwaukee about a siege going on at a bank downtown. A reporter informs us there are about ten hostages, then there's a kerfuffle in the background. The zoomy cameraman earns his pay cheque and shows us that Dean's in the doorway of the bank, using a security guard as a human shield. He yells at the cops to get back, then gets "OH SHIT" face when he sees the news cameras.
FLAME ON!
After the credits, it's the previous day and the boys are at a jewellery store pretending to be FBI agents.
We begin with the Marses discussing the big reveal at the end of the previous episode - that Terrence Cook has a butt-load of explosives in his fancy car/helicopter hangar. Veronica half-heartedly tries to pretend Terrence just had a hobby that involved blowing shit up, but that's pretty unlikely.
Sweeney: So are the multitude of paternity mysteries in this town of plot-shifting size, though! You keep those fingers crossed for Terrence, girl. Also for Keith. Mostly for Keith.
Diva: Excellent point. I don't know why I suddenly expected "unlikeliness" to matter at all in this town.
Sweeney: So are the multitude of paternity mysteries in this town of plot-shifting size, though! You keep those fingers crossed for Terrence, girl. Also for Keith. Mostly for Keith.
Diva: Excellent point. I don't know why I suddenly expected "unlikeliness" to matter at all in this town.
Final magical/lying credits of the season take us through King's Landing, Moat Cailin, WinterfellFOREVERonfire, The Wall, across The Narrow Sea to a scary game of Mouse Trap Braavos, and finally Meereen.
We resume where we last left Jon Snow, heading north of the wall, swordless, to kill Mance. There's a lot of weird shaky cam which made me think direwolf cam but no, it's just Wildling cam. Jon surrenders immediately, explaining to Mance that he's been sent to negotiate with him.
Lorraine: I thought Jon's plan involved some amount of being sneaky. It makes sense that he left his sword, now, since his entire plan was just walking right up to the people who were trying to kill him.
We resume where we last left Jon Snow, heading north of the wall, swordless, to kill Mance. There's a lot of weird shaky cam which made me think direwolf cam but no, it's just Wildling cam. Jon surrenders immediately, explaining to Mance that he's been sent to negotiate with him.
Lorraine: I thought Jon's plan involved some amount of being sneaky. It makes sense that he left his sword, now, since his entire plan was just walking right up to the people who were trying to kill him.
The morning after the clone-twin murderunion, Rachel's apartment is now a crime scene, albeit an internal Dyad-run-crime-scene. Rachel arrives, not having anyone suggesting Daniel's body is too gruesome for her to see. She closes his dead eyes and the tender moment is cut short when she corrects Aldous's suggestion of Daniel's loyalty: "to you." Everyone's instantly aware that this is Helena's work, not Sarah's. There is security footage of the twins leaving together. There's a cryptic reference to whatever happened in Taiwan, but we only learn that Paul did his job well. Rachel finds the home movie of hers that Sarah watched. Aldous suggests that all of this has only happened because of her heavy-handed tactics, but Rachel says she's "only just begun."
DNA and SCIENCE and a NEAT-O SCREENSAVER.
DNA and SCIENCE and a NEAT-O SCREENSAVER.
Burkitsville, Indiana, one year ago. A young couple are ushered out of a restaurant at night by a motherly looking type who gives them an apple pie for the road. Her husband finishes filling their car and gives them polite directions to the interstate. Their niece admires the guy's tattoo as he gets in the car. The young couple gush about how nice everyone is in town and head out.
A short distance out of town, their car dies. The girl is not pleased to discover that they also have no phone reception. They get out of the car and spy a light through the trees of an apple orchard. The guy heads towards it, and the girl reluctantly follows. Part way in, they come across a creep-tastic scarecrow and stare at it for way longer than I would. The guy calls it "the freakiest damn scarecrow I've ever seen," thereby earning himself a gold star a mere two minutes into the episode. Well done, sir!
A short distance out of town, their car dies. The girl is not pleased to discover that they also have no phone reception. They get out of the car and spy a light through the trees of an apple orchard. The guy heads towards it, and the girl reluctantly follows. Part way in, they come across a creep-tastic scarecrow and stare at it for way longer than I would. The guy calls it "the freakiest damn scarecrow I've ever seen," thereby earning himself a gold star a mere two minutes into the episode. Well done, sir!
Inside the Summers' home, it's somewhat clear that whatever happened at the end of the last episode, it wasn't well thought out. All the Potentials, Giles, Willow, Faith, Xander, Anya and Principal Wood are having a disorganized discussion about how to have organized discussions. Kennedy is pretty much just excited about having more of a say.
Faith keeps trying to calm everyone down. Amanda goes on and on about parliamentary procedure. During this, Giles tries to assure Dawn that what they did was for the best. Dawn says it doesn't feel that way. Finally, Faith tells everyone that they need to chill out and get some sleep. Kennedy wonders if they have time to waste and Faith basically answers, "things suck so let's sleep." I support this plan. It's pretty much the best one we've heard this season.
Faith keeps trying to calm everyone down. Amanda goes on and on about parliamentary procedure. During this, Giles tries to assure Dawn that what they did was for the best. Dawn says it doesn't feel that way. Finally, Faith tells everyone that they need to chill out and get some sleep. Kennedy wonders if they have time to waste and Faith basically answers, "things suck so let's sleep." I support this plan. It's pretty much the best one we've heard this season.
Kirsti: We start literally where we left off, with Angelus biting Faith's neck. Suddenly, he stops and drops her, scurrying backwards. "What...did you do?" he asks. Flashback to a few minutes earlier. While Angelus was taunting Wes, Faith grabbed a syringe from her boot and injected something into her arm before re-entering the fight. Back in the present, Angelus staggers around briefly before passing out. Wes asks Faith if she's okay. "Kicked his ass," she slurs before blacking out. Electric cellos.
After the credits, Fred's researching behind the desk at the Hyperion when Gunn bursts in the front door, dragging Angelus and screaming Connor's name. Apparently Wes called him and he went, no questions asked.
After the credits, Fred's researching behind the desk at the Hyperion when Gunn bursts in the front door, dragging Angelus and screaming Connor's name. Apparently Wes called him and he went, no questions asked.
One of these days, I'll stop making KFC references in the title. BUT NOT TODAY. Chez Summers. Buffy wanders around in the dark, turning off lights, picking up books and generally checking on sleeping Potentials. Upstairs, she sees one girl, Chloe, crying in the corner of the hallway and heads towards her. But something jumps out at her and knocks her down the stairs. She lands at the bottom, the First Slayer above her. "It's not enough," the First Slayer hisses, and Buffy wakes with a start. Cue wolf howl.
Lorraine: I'm going to admit that I'd previously been confusing the First and the First Slayer in my head. #Snowproblems.
K: Awkward...
Lorraine: I'm going to admit that I'd previously been confusing the First and the First Slayer in my head. #Snowproblems.
K: Awkward...
Faith is all bloodied and broken and Wesley tries to tend to her. She says she's okay, though she could use a shower. Wesley asks if she's sure if she's okay and all she says is that she's sticky. In the bathroom, we see Faith peel layers of clothes off her very bloodied body and then step into the shower. The stream of water starts to wash away the blood (but not the make-up!) and then she straight freaks the hell out and starts punching the tile wall, yelling as she does. That seemingly out of her system (at least for now) she goes back to washing off the blood.
Sweeney: This scene was really striking especially considering their last encounter before all of this. I kept waiting for that to be brought up, but I suppose it was sufficient that it made me think of it.
Sweeney: This scene was really striking especially considering their last encounter before all of this. I kept waiting for that to be brought up, but I suppose it was sufficient that it made me think of it.
Simon analyzes some data on a screen as Book disregards his thinky face and starts chatting. Book is being the person who sees you with headphones on and strikes up a conversation, but like the space-cowboy version of it. Something like that. (S: A+)
Anyway, he asks Simon if he's ever read the writings of Shan Yu, the psychotic dictator who "fancied himself quite the warrior-poet." Apparently this crazy dictator poet wrote a lot about torture and human endurance, and Book wonders if the people who messed with River's brain did it to see how much she could endure. Simon doesn't think so. He shows Book a picture of River's brain and points out that there is pattern. Besides, if the bad guys' aim was just to hurt River, they wouldn't still be after her.
Anyway, he asks Simon if he's ever read the writings of Shan Yu, the psychotic dictator who "fancied himself quite the warrior-poet." Apparently this crazy dictator poet wrote a lot about torture and human endurance, and Book wonders if the people who messed with River's brain did it to see how much she could endure. Simon doesn't think so. He shows Book a picture of River's brain and points out that there is pattern. Besides, if the bad guys' aim was just to hurt River, they wouldn't still be after her.
I'm gonna go ahead and start by saying that I refuse to give out gold stars, because we would literally be here all day, because I just checked the transcript and the word "him" appears like 50 times in this episode. (S: A sound policy.)
After the previouslies, we're at Xander's Gift Apartment. He walks in the front door, informing Spike that he's now going to be living in the Cupboard Under the Stairs. (Fine, it's the walk-in closet, which Xander is now claiming is a room. But HOW COULD I NOT?) He informs Buffy that he hates this plan (you're not alone, Xand), and she reminds him that Spike - who's hovering in the doorway - needs an invitation to enter. Xander reluctantly gives one while I'm busy being distracted by Buffy's sudden and horrific fringe.
After the previouslies, we're at Xander's Gift Apartment. He walks in the front door, informing Spike that he's now going to be living in the Cupboard Under the Stairs. (Fine, it's the walk-in closet, which Xander is now claiming is a room. But HOW COULD I NOT?) He informs Buffy that he hates this plan (you're not alone, Xand), and she reminds him that Spike - who's hovering in the doorway - needs an invitation to enter. Xander reluctantly gives one while I'm busy being distracted by Buffy's sudden and horrific fringe.
The episode starts with a lot of shots of Los Angeles before taking us back to Brooding Hotel, where the gang is patching up the earthquake damaged hotel and Groo is pleading with Angel to heed his advice...on the new color selection. I won't lie, I'm kind of a fan of Groo. Not in the sense that I actually care a great deal what happens to him, but he's kind of precious and amusing.
Lorraine: He was a little off-putting at first, especially in the sense of the love triangle and cockblocking, but I'm warming to him as well.
Sweeney: Angel says no and stops Gunn from throwing away something that is seriously charred. He just wants everything “the way it was.” Hugs.
Lorraine: He was a little off-putting at first, especially in the sense of the love triangle and cockblocking, but I'm warming to him as well.
Sweeney: Angel says no and stops Gunn from throwing away something that is seriously charred. He just wants everything “the way it was.” Hugs.
We open at the Doublemeat Palace. Buffy is scraping a disgusting amount of brown sludge off the grill while another employee tells her that the key to working at the DMP is politics. He talks about Machiavelli, and when she thinks that's a guy who works day shift, he's all "OH RIGHT. COLLEGE DROPOUT." Buffy says that she's reapplying, and he's a condescending asshat. He leaves to head to night school - after mentioning that he's studying for an MBA so he doesn't have to work at the DMP forever - and tells her to scrape the gum under the tables before she leaves.
Cut to the cemetery. Buffy wanders through the gravestones singing the DMP jingle and wondering why she can't get it out of her head.
Cut to the cemetery. Buffy wanders through the gravestones singing the DMP jingle and wondering why she can't get it out of her head.
After a whopping one minute and twenty three seconds of previouslies (seriously?!), a middle aged couple are being cornered by some guys in an alley. Buffy puns her way into the picture and goes in for the fight, only to discover that the guys doing the cornering are human and she's just interrupted a run of the mill mugging. She hands the lady back her handbag and ushers the couple away.
The muggers, meanwhile, are complete idiots and decide to attack Buffy. She pins one and is heading for the other when a shape jumps out of the darkness and hits the second mugger. Buffy yells "NO!" but it's too late - Spike grabs his head in pain and the muggers get away.
The muggers, meanwhile, are complete idiots and decide to attack Buffy. She pins one and is heading for the other when a shape jumps out of the darkness and hits the second mugger. Buffy yells "NO!" but it's too late - Spike grabs his head in pain and the muggers get away.
Ana is in total shock because apparently, if you are having sex, YOU CAN GET PREGNANT. Ana thinks about how much she doesn't want a baby and how she knows her husband is going to freak.
Dr. Best in Seattle says, "judging by your reaction, I suspect you're just a couple of weeks or so from conception-- four or five weeks pregnant." UM. WHAT? RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN. Because she was shocked, your super doctor skillz tell you she's four or five weeks pregnant? Shock is a measure of such things? Clearly, Dr. Best doesn't watch any TV.
Dr. Best in Seattle says, "judging by your reaction, I suspect you're just a couple of weeks or so from conception-- four or five weeks pregnant." UM. WHAT? RUN THAT BY ME AGAIN. Because she was shocked, your super doctor skillz tell you she's four or five weeks pregnant? Shock is a measure of such things? Clearly, Dr. Best doesn't watch any TV.