89 Posts

Tag: we’re taking everyone to hogwarts

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Game of Thrones S05 E04 – Bring back Gendry.

The previouslies take us all the way back to Season 1, with King Robert asking Ned why he had to bury his sister/Robert's betrothed Lyanna in Winterfell and placing a feather in Lyanna's statue's hands. We see Littlefinger telling Sansa about her worst marriage prospect yet (M: We remember this part, show.) (S: But would it really be Game of Thrones without a little twisting of the knife?), the Margaery vs. Cersei battle for Tommen's affections, Loras being gay and beautiful (M: We remember this part for sure.), Cersei teaming up with the High Sparrow, Ellaria Sand trying to convince the Dornish Prince Doran to avenge his brother Oberyn, the Sons of the Harpy murdering everyone in Meereen, and oh yeah, Ser Jorah kidnapped Tyrion and is taking him to "the queen." Ah, but which queen?
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Doctor Who S03 E00 – Snowy genocide

  • Posted byby K
  • May 27, 2015
  • 11 Comments
Space. We pan around to the Earth, then do a dramatic zoom - with heavy brass accompaniment - into a church somewhere in London. The ginger bride from the end of Doomsday stands at the head of the aisle. The organ starts up, and it's incredibly confusing because the music is Mendelssohn's Wedding March, which is traditionally considered a recessional, not a processional. #musicnerdproblems
ANYWAY. The groom turns around, they grin at each other, and Ginger Bride makes her way down the aisle. Half way down the aisle, she starts to glow. Like, literally. She's full of glowy gold light. Then she screams and disappears into a glow cloud thing.
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Game of Thrones S05 E01 – Never wake a sleeping blood mage.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • May 5, 2015
  • 23 Comments
Everything is usually so shiny and bright when a new season starts! I'll admit that I'm more hesitant than normal this time 'round because season four started off on such a prolonged, sour note. However, I still got pretty damn giddy when the credits music started. Here we are again, friends! Ready or not.
Democracy Diva: READY. So ready. I may have been running around my apartment singing the GoT theme song to myself in preparation. Also, hi, Traumateers! I'm so excited to be joining the GoT recaps.
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Doctor Who S02 E10 – Clom

  • Posted byby K
  • April 29, 2015
  • 9 Comments
We open on a guy with terrible bleached blond hair running through a quarry or gravel yard or some shit. IDK. He ends up by an industrial looking building, and stops when he sees the TARDIS. He walks slowly towards it, and music gets all floaty vocals and spookiness. He touches the TARDIS, then Rose yells out for the Doctor from somewhere off screen. Bad Hair Guy runs towards it. He ends up in a factory. Rose and the Doctor, both still off screen, yell at each other about where "he" has gone. Bad Hair Guy finds himself in a corridor with lots of doorways off it. There's a pig-like grunting noise from somewhere, and he cautiously walks down the corridor. He pulls open a door and finds himself face to face with a giant spitty alien.
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Supernatural S03 E10 – Dream catch me

  • Posted byby K
  • March 25, 2015
  • 5 Comments
Bobby walks through his house with a flashlight in hand. He hears a noise and turns, but there's nothing there. He heads into the kitchen and looks around, but it's empty. Suddenly, a woman screams and attacks him. He falls to the floor, and she shakes him back and forth. The screen flashes white a few times and we cut to Bobby asleep in a motel bed. It's daylight. A maid enters, and apologises when she sees him. She pulls the keys from the door, and they jangle. But Bobby doesn't budge. She looks concerned and walks over to him. She shakes his shoulder a little, and he still doesn't move. We cut back to the screaming woman in the kitchen and Bobby trying to fend off her blows.
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How to Get Away With Murder S01 E12 – Metal, steel, or JUSTICE.

We begin with a news report that tells us, yup, Sam Keating’s body was definitely found, because you guys are bad at getting away with murder. (M: Okay, so don't throw the body away in a trash can. Got it.) Dumbledore’s Army debates whether Annalise ratted them out, and we play another fun round of “no, it’s your fault!”
Meanwhile, Frank is in his car, being angry and bearded.
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Supernatural S03 E06 – How the sass tables turn

  • Posted byby K
  • February 25, 2015
  • 5 Comments
A young woman runs along an abandoned dock at night in tiny shorts and a sports bra. I roll my eyes so hard they nearly fall out of their sockets because no woman on earth would go running alone at night dressed like that. (A: +1.) She stops to get a drink at a water fountain, then looks up when there's a crack of thunder. She sees a ghostly sailing ship float past, then vanish. She runs off, looking freaked out.
Cut to her house, where she's showering. Segue: does anybody actually do a shampoo advert style hair flip in the shower? Because I call bullshit. It just makes the ceiling wet and drippy.

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Doctor Who S02 E04 – Time helps you get a head.

  • Posted byby K
  • February 18, 2015
  • 15 Comments
We open at Versailles in the height of its opulence. Courtiers run and scream from an unseen threat. A man in a red velvet coat approaches a woman in a dress four times wider than she is, and tells her that they have to go. It's Sophia Myles, who I know better as Beth from Moonlight and Beth from Spooks. Also as Fanny Price's little sister from the Mansfield Park movie.
Marines: MOONLIGHT! It is my far away dream to recap some one-season-wonders a la Firefly, and Moonlight is way high on that list. Also, Sophia Myles was dating David Tennant at this point, which is fun.
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Charmed S02 E06 – Second hand embarrassment

  • Posted byby Marines
  • January 7, 2015
  • 29 Comments
We start in nature with two guys who clearly want to be bear-mauled. By that I mostly mean that they are in nature and seeking out a particular cave. Their faces are really dirty and I don't know why. I guess they rolled most of the way here? Hesitant Dirty Face thinks the cave looks small for a mine shaft, but Stupid Dirty Face is all, "s'whatever. Let's go in."
Inside the cave/shaft, they quickly come upon "get the hell out of there" things like cob webs, a skeleton and bats. (S: They're like, "Oh hey, look, a skeleton." Totally normal for those to be lying around near cave entrances.) Stupid Dirty Face thinks this is all great and believes the gold they are looking for is in or behind a wall with ominous red markings. He starts chipping at the wall (?) and very soon, smoke pours out of a crack.
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Charmed S02 E03 – Sperm Doodle

  • Posted byby Marines
  • December 17, 2014
  • 24 Comments
We open at Buckland where Prue is appraising a tacky painting of a gothic castle. She points out that the composition is unusual but it’s really not. It’s just a castle sitting in the middle of the canvas and it's definitely a photograph that's been shopped to look painted. The painting belongs to a super nervous woman. She wants to sell it as soon as possible and she doesn’t care how much money they get for it. Her behavior leads me to believe that this is an Evil Painting. The scene ends on an ominous zoom in shot of the painting, so definitely evil.
Phoebe and Piper talk on the phone about how Phoebe crashed Prue’s car into a pole. It looks like Piper is prepping stuff for Wanna-Bronze. I can’t wait.
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Dollhouse S01 E10 – Dead alive

  • Posted byby Marines
  • November 21, 2014
  • 12 Comments
Rich people stuff like large lawns and horseback riding: a woman rides up on a horse and calls out to a man named Jack that she'll be done shortly and he should behave himself. Rich Lady (Margaret) blows him a kiss and rides off. Jack is sitting with a group of his buds and they joke about not actually ever playing tennis, and just sitting around day drinking. It's all fun until one of his bros sees Margaret's horse, suspiciously sans Margaret.
Echo is in the chair just after an imprint. She sees Adelle and greets her with a familiar "Addy?" Adelle looks pained as she tells Echo!Margaret that she's very sorry to be the one to break the news. Margaret is dead.
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Supernatural S02 E21 – X-Men Assemble

  • Posted byby K
  • November 15, 2014
  • 15 Comments
Previously: Dean ended up in his fantasy world after being captured by a djinn. — All Hell Breaks Loose Part 1 Kirsti: Carry on my wayword soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon!! That’s right, friends. It’s...
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How To Get Away With Murder S01 E07 – Majestic Shoulders 101

Bonfire, but just for a sec, because then we cut back to 12 Grimmauld Place. Rebecca is drenched in a truly ridiculous amount of blood and Wes is carrying her into the bathroom. He cleans the blood off her her while she just stands there in a daze. She thanks him, and he kisses her. He says it will be fine, because people always say that when there are dead bodies around. We zoom in on Rebecca’s thoughtful face, so it’s clearly The Rebecca Episode.
Marines: The tender blood wiping made me feel icky. Spoiler alert: this is not the ickiest I'll feel this episode.
Sweeney: Giving you a soft introduction to the unpleasant emotions you'll feel is what the teaser's all about.

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How to Get Away with Murder S01 E06 – Unbelievable eyeliner

  • Posted byby Marines
  • November 6, 2014
  • 9 Comments
Improbable bonfire. We cut immediately to Asher, so the improbable bonfire was just to (a) - establish that we are in the future and (b) - keep the bonfire episode opener going on forever. Asher is in his Twlight-movie-blue-filtered apartment dancing around, throwing money, drinking, gyrating, and generally being a lot more carefree than his Dumbledore's Army counterparts in this uncertain future. He's mid-thrusting on the couch when he gets a phone call from someone named Alicia. He wants to go to the bonfire because he has the Murder Weapon Trophy and doesn't have to study. Except he just realizes that Murder Weapon Trophy is gone.
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Supernatural S02 E18 – Team Fangirl

  • Posted byby K
  • November 5, 2014
  • 16 Comments
Night, the woods. A young woman calls out to her friends. There's no response. A guy comes rushing up to her, yelling that her friends are dead and that he has to find his sister. He runs off into the darkness and she shouts after him. There's a noise behind her and she turns, then screams. Her scream trails off pathetically as the camera pans out to show that she's on a film set, pretending to be terrified of a tennis ball. The director calls a cut, and production assistants rush around doing their thing. The director asks Tara, the actress, to try a better scream next time, and she says she's struggling with the tennis ball thing. He insists that the final product will be terrifying, she says she'll try harder and withdraws to a seat nearby.