I think I’m being punished by Whedon. First I get a Xander-centric episode, and then later today I get a bunch of insane dream sequences in Angel? What the hell did I do to deserve this?! SIGH.
Lorraine: Pfft. No sympathy from me. Get back to me if Whedon ever does an episode about anal lube.
K: Fair.
We open in the Fruit Roll Up Basement, where Xander, Anya, Buffy and Riley are watching kung fu movies. Anya’s arm is in a sling on account of the head wound she incurred in the last episode turned out to be an arm injury instead? IDK.
I always find it amusing when I feel compelled to start a recap by reminding you all of some plot point or other. Most of the time it's because it's some random shit that wouldn't qualify as a plot point anywhere outside of the Fifty Shades series. For instance, please do recall that the architect designing the new Grey house has come to visit the Greys... and she's a woman!
I KNOW, GUYS. How could I think you would forget such a shocking turn of events, in which a woman is a woman near or around Grey?!
I KNOW, GUYS. How could I think you would forget such a shocking turn of events, in which a woman is a woman near or around Grey?!
Sweeney: Season 5 has mixed reviews from all of you, but anything beats S4 in my book, so let's get started and leave that disappointment behind us. Buffy is lying in bed with Riley and unable to sleep because she knows her relationship is doomed. Or because she knows there's a vampire out there waiting to be staked. Whatever. She gets up, runs through the cemetery and gets to staking before returning to bed, knowing that it's just her doing the slaying and no more Initiative, and all is well in the world.
Lorraine: I got all sorts of Buffy answering the call of duty vibes from this scene. A lot of those very! significant! moments in Restless told us about Buffy coming up against her slayer nature and really belonging to this world.
Lorraine: I got all sorts of Buffy answering the call of duty vibes from this scene. A lot of those very! significant! moments in Restless told us about Buffy coming up against her slayer nature and really belonging to this world.
Regardless of what you were when you first watched this episode (book reader, spoiled show watcher, or unspoiled show watcher), I think we all sat down to this episode with the anxiety only the best content can create. It's episode 9, friends, also known as the episode that brought us the beheading of Ned Stark, the Battle of the Blackwater and now this.
Sweeney: I told Lor this already, but in our on-going game of, "Haha, see what shit the other can get stuck with!" -- usually played out on Fifty Shades, and occasionally Buffy -- this was probably the worst draw yet.
Sweeney: I told Lor this already, but in our on-going game of, "Haha, see what shit the other can get stuck with!" -- usually played out on Fifty Shades, and occasionally Buffy -- this was probably the worst draw yet.
Wesley is showing Angel a super special knife, useful for killiig Kek demons, which would be great Angel says, if Kek demons weren't extinct. Wesley holds out hope that there may yet be a sole, hibernating Kek.
The oven buzzes. Cordelia is baking brownies. She enters to collect said brownies as Wesley comments under his breath that he thought what he smelled was something he tracked in. Cordy tells Wesley he's going to love them. Angel is saved from a taste test because his selective eating says so. (S: I'd abuse the shit out of that too.)
The oven buzzes. Cordelia is baking brownies. She enters to collect said brownies as Wesley comments under his breath that he thought what he smelled was something he tracked in. Cordy tells Wesley he's going to love them. Angel is saved from a taste test because his selective eating says so. (S: I'd abuse the shit out of that too.)
Lorraine: Just when we seem to give up on the credits, it adds a shiny, new location to the map so we forgive it for being an occasional liar. I feel like this is an abusive relationship, Credits, but I don't know how to quit you. Today: King's Landing, Harrenhal, (new location) Riverrun, Winterfell on Fire, The Wall and Astapor.
Sweeney: I'm glad you got the episode where the credits tried to make nice again, because I don't think I'm ready to forgive just yet.
Lor: Fair. Lady Catelyn's father's dead body is pushed off into the sea for a Viking-type funeral as she stands solemnly by with the rest of those in mourning.
Sweeney: I'm glad you got the episode where the credits tried to make nice again, because I don't think I'm ready to forgive just yet.
Lor: Fair. Lady Catelyn's father's dead body is pushed off into the sea for a Viking-type funeral as she stands solemnly by with the rest of those in mourning.
Kirsti: Oh, Whedon. You really do like to deliver us ALL THE FEELS at once, don't you? Sigh.
Lorraine: Thanks for the upfront warning. We should consider giving our own version of TV Parental Guidelines. This episode is rated F for feels. Viewer Discretion is advised.
Sweeney: YES.
K: Other ratings? B for Boring, R for Rage Inducing, and and S for SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!
Lorraine: Thanks for the upfront warning. We should consider giving our own version of TV Parental Guidelines. This episode is rated F for feels. Viewer Discretion is advised.
Sweeney: YES.
K: Other ratings? B for Boring, R for Rage Inducing, and and S for SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!!!
Sweeney: Halloween! Huzzah! This isn't the best Halloween episode of the series, but it's one of the few watchable episodes in this abysmal season, something I am going to complain about at the beginning of every single post so get used to it.
K: I'm going to argue that it IS the best Halloween episode of the series, because we've already established that Soldier Xander annoys the crap out of me, and the Halloween episode in season 6 is kind of lame. But that might just be because I like to be contrary.
Sweeney: I can't even fault that episode for giving us soldier Xander; I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
K: I'm going to argue that it IS the best Halloween episode of the series, because we've already established that Soldier Xander annoys the crap out of me, and the Halloween episode in season 6 is kind of lame. But that might just be because I like to be contrary.
Sweeney: I can't even fault that episode for giving us soldier Xander; I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
Previously: Stannis confronted Renly, who refused to stand down. Melisandre birthed a dementor. Daenerys was admitted entrance to Qarth, totes the best city ever, Sansa is slowly dying inside and...
Previously: Varys found out Tyrion rolled into town with Shae, Gendry finds out Arya belongs to House Stark, Theon finds out his family is pretty much a bunch of douches,...
Previously: Shit gets real for the whole Stark family. Ned learns he’s secured himself a death sentence, Sansa womans up on behalf of her father, Robb goes to war with...
Previously: Robert forced Ned to take back his BFF pin. Drogo murdered Viserys’s face off, literally. — You Win or You Die Sweeney: The episode begins with a bunch of...
Previously: The Watchers Council gave Buffy the worst birthday ever. Well, it would have been the worst birthday ever for anybody but Buffy who only has terrible, terrible birthdays. Then...
Previously: Ana finally encounters a gun-wielding GSP! We now continue reading to see what disappointing thing happens next. — Sweeney: After that incredibly promising chapter end, it is now sadly time...