We open at the Motel of the Week. (S: I'm so excited I'm so excited I'm so excited.) "Supernatural is filmed before a live studio audience," Dean voiceovers. Music tinkles and the entire colour palate is a million times brighter and happier than usual. Inside the motel room - which has a huge and very clean kitchen - Dean has made a comically oversized sandwich. A studio audience offscreen cheers and claps. "I'm gonna need a bigger mouth," he says. Canned laughter.
Sam enters to cheers and applause. Dean asks what's happening. "Just the end of the world!" Sam says, all upbeat.
We open with a woman on the couch reading one of those trashy magazines that declares the Apocolypse here. A man comes in the front door and she greets him but he just runs straight upstairs. He heads into the bathroom all sweaty and panicked. He looks into the mirror as his skin begins to wrinkle and his hair falls out. He turns into an old old man and collapses into a cabinet. (K: It's very...Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade)
We start where we left off - with the Titanic crashing into the TARDIS. After his "What?"s, the Doctor fiddles with something on the console panel, and the TARDIS is pulled off the ship. The hole in the side magically fixes itself, and the TARDIS vworp vworps onto the Titanic. The Doctor dusts himself off and heads off to explore. It's all very Downton Abbey, with a piped orchestral version of Jingle Bells. There are also creepy animatronic angels standing around. Because, you know, we haven't had enough angel related trauma already on this show. (M: I just want to blink freely.)
I'm really curious to recap this episode, because it's easily been one of my favourites up until now. (Which is odd because it's written by Steven Moffat, and I've basically hated everything about his time as show runner...) But favourite things don't always stand up to being watched incredibly slowly, so...we'll see.
We open with CAREY MULLIGAN!!! climbing over a creepy fence into the grounds of a creepy house in the creepy rain accompanied by creepy music. There's a "Danger: Keep Out" sign on the gate.
We open with CAREY MULLIGAN!!! climbing over a creepy fence into the grounds of a creepy house in the creepy rain accompanied by creepy music. There's a "Danger: Keep Out" sign on the gate.
The previouslies are helping me remember how much I hated new!Kaitlin (BRING BACK SHAILENE WOODLEY) and the infuriating way she speaks like she's got a permanent mouthful of cotton candy. I haven't seen the previous episode in at least seven or so years, but it's all coming back to me now.
Cohen House Breakfast Where Everyone Is Way Too Awake For Such An Early Hour But At Least There Are Bagels. Sandy's big day involves building a hospital, a project he inherited from Caleb. Except they're still competing with another firm to get the project, or something? Whatever, the important thing is that Sandy needs his lucky tie and Kirsten already got it cleaned for him because these two are an awesome team.
Cohen House Breakfast Where Everyone Is Way Too Awake For Such An Early Hour But At Least There Are Bagels. Sandy's big day involves building a hospital, a project he inherited from Caleb. Except they're still competing with another firm to get the project, or something? Whatever, the important thing is that Sandy needs his lucky tie and Kirsten already got it cleaned for him because these two are an awesome team.
We begin with a Joey voiceover: she asks if you've ever had a day you wanted to live all over again. Like one in which they made out with Pacey, I guess.
Kirsti: Legit, girl. Legit. I think we'd all like to live that day over and over again.
Diva: I want a life-gif of that day.
Dawson and his dad show up to Pacey's boat with some champagne. They're greeted by Andie, Jonathan Lipnicki (who I guess is officially part of the family now), and the rest of the gang, save for Pacephine.
Kirsti: Legit, girl. Legit. I think we'd all like to live that day over and over again.
Diva: I want a life-gif of that day.
Dawson and his dad show up to Pacey's boat with some champagne. They're greeted by Andie, Jonathan Lipnicki (who I guess is officially part of the family now), and the rest of the gang, save for Pacephine.
PTA meeting. A parent accuses the school board of sentencing their kid to death, which is quite extreme, and also not at all what is going on here. The board has urged Principal Green to reconsider his decision to expel Douchey Jock. Mr. Douchey Jock Sr. is all, "my kid didn't do anything wrong," but Joey stands up to speak her mind about how this has all been blown out of proportion. The school board president basically tells her to sit down and shut up. DJ Sr. says that Principal Green's draconian methods of punishment are more appropriate for an "urban war zone" than civilized community. You see, because Principal Green is black, DJ Sr. can't just call it a war zone. It has to be "urban," because racism. This dude is the grossest. Joey agrees, and so does one member of the school board, who tells DJ Sr. that his son's issues are a result of his own shitty parenting.
Yes, I totally pilfered that title from the Terry Pratchett/Neil Gaiman book. Shut up.
We start with flashing close-ups of Dean's panicky eyes, accompanied by a screeching sound. It's kind of like when you're playing Lego Marvel Superheroes and Venom turns up... (M: I don't really know what you are talking about, but A+.) Then the screen goes black and we hear Dean gasping for air. He flicks a lighter and stares around in a panic because he's in a coffin. He calls for help, but his voice is hoarse. He punches the coffin lid, and soil trickles in. He shoves at it, and manages to break the lid on account of it's not a real coffin, it's made out of crappy bits of 2x4 or some shit. Soil rushes in and the screen goes dark again.
We start with flashing close-ups of Dean's panicky eyes, accompanied by a screeching sound. It's kind of like when you're playing Lego Marvel Superheroes and Venom turns up... (M: I don't really know what you are talking about, but A+.) Then the screen goes black and we hear Dean gasping for air. He flicks a lighter and stares around in a panic because he's in a coffin. He calls for help, but his voice is hoarse. He punches the coffin lid, and soil trickles in. He shoves at it, and manages to break the lid on account of it's not a real coffin, it's made out of crappy bits of 2x4 or some shit. Soil rushes in and the screen goes dark again.
First things first: I have an irrational love for this episode. It manages to be feelsy and really freaking dark and hilarious simultaneously, and it's just kind of great.
Right, on with the show. We open with a super close up of Sam's closed eyes. Heat of the Moment by Asia starts playing, and he sits bolt upright in bed at the Motel of the Week. Dean, already dressed, tells Sam that it's "time to rise and shine, Sammy!" This gives me horrible flashbacks to my teen years when my mother would burst into my room at like 9am on a Saturday and holler "Time for getting up now!" (M: My mom's Saturday wake-up was the dreaded, "time to clean!" -_-)
Right, on with the show. We open with a super close up of Sam's closed eyes. Heat of the Moment by Asia starts playing, and he sits bolt upright in bed at the Motel of the Week. Dean, already dressed, tells Sam that it's "time to rise and shine, Sammy!" This gives me horrible flashbacks to my teen years when my mother would burst into my room at like 9am on a Saturday and holler "Time for getting up now!" (M: My mom's Saturday wake-up was the dreaded, "time to clean!" -_-)
It’s a stormy night in Gotham. (M: WHAT?! It's usually so bright and cheery.) A random guy with white hair arrives home to his Generic Gotham Apartment and grumbles about the wind blowing through an open window. He goes to shut it, but two guys in hoodies appear and grab him as he screams in terror.
Fish wakes up on the floor in some kind of prison, dashing my hopes that her leaving Gotham the city for a while also meant she would be leaving Gotham the show. Sigh. She asks the friendly-looking guy nearby if she’s dreaming, and he replies that he hopes so. Two scary-looking thugs saunter over, chuckling to themselves.
Fish wakes up on the floor in some kind of prison, dashing my hopes that her leaving Gotham the city for a while also meant she would be leaving Gotham the show. Sigh. She asks the friendly-looking guy nearby if she’s dreaming, and he replies that he hopes so. Two scary-looking thugs saunter over, chuckling to themselves.
Maple Springs, New York. The tinkly orchestra tinkles as we pan across a billboard for a housing estate that starts "Once upon a time". You know, just in case you couldn't tell this was going to be fairy tale themed. We pan down further to the construction site where three somewhat chubby brothers are talking. There's a growly sound and one looks around. His brother pooh-poohs the noise, and the trio go back to arguing about whether they should be using cinder blocks or bricks rather than timber in the construction, because "One gust of wind and the whole place is gonna blow over!". Do you get who they are yet, or should the writers hit us with the obvious anvil a few more times?
The Tenth Doctor and his Converse take charge of the TARDIS, and fiddles with various things on the console. He flicks a switch, and the engines start up, and he grins. It's pure Tennant "OMG THIS IS MY CHILDHOOD DREAM COME TRUE" and I love everything about it. Outside, Rose hugs Jackie and Mickey goodbye and runs in with what's clearly an empty pack on her back.
Marines: At least she's graduated to proper goodbyes with her family now. The sadness on Mickey's face as he watches her walk into the TARDIS and Jackie just walking away, sending her girl back into danger? I want to hug them both.
K: Same, girl, same.
Marines: At least she's graduated to proper goodbyes with her family now. The sadness on Mickey's face as he watches her walk into the TARDIS and Jackie just walking away, sending her girl back into danger? I want to hug them both.
K: Same, girl, same.
I have no idea what I did this weekend, except discover that procrastinating the watching of Gotham is an amazing way to make a weekend absolutely disappear. Somewhere in the procrastination fever dream of my weekend, I watched half a season of X-Men: The Animated Series because I was sick and decided to extend my Gotham-vacation.
I don't ever wanna go home!
But alas, even the best vacations must end.
Let's do this.
But alas, even the best vacations must end.
Let's do this.
We start in nature with two guys who clearly want to be bear-mauled. By that I mostly mean that they are in nature and seeking out a particular cave. Their faces are really dirty and I don't know why. I guess they rolled most of the way here? Hesitant Dirty Face thinks the cave looks small for a mine shaft, but Stupid Dirty Face is all, "s'whatever. Let's go in."
Inside the cave/shaft, they quickly come upon "get the hell out of there" things like cob webs, a skeleton and bats. (S: They're like, "Oh hey, look, a skeleton." Totally normal for those to be lying around near cave entrances.) Stupid Dirty Face thinks this is all great and believes the gold they are looking for is in or behind a wall with ominous red markings. He starts chipping at the wall (?) and very soon, smoke pours out of a crack.
Inside the cave/shaft, they quickly come upon "get the hell out of there" things like cob webs, a skeleton and bats. (S: They're like, "Oh hey, look, a skeleton." Totally normal for those to be lying around near cave entrances.) Stupid Dirty Face thinks this is all great and believes the gold they are looking for is in or behind a wall with ominous red markings. He starts chipping at the wall (?) and very soon, smoke pours out of a crack.
We open at Buckland where Prue is appraising a tacky painting of a gothic castle. She points out that the composition is unusual but it’s really not. It’s just a castle sitting in the middle of the canvas and it's definitely a photograph that's been shopped to look painted. The painting belongs to a super nervous woman. She wants to sell it as soon as possible and she doesn’t care how much money they get for it. Her behavior leads me to believe that this is an Evil Painting. The scene ends on an ominous zoom in shot of the painting, so definitely evil.
Phoebe and Piper talk on the phone about how Phoebe crashed Prue’s car into a pole. It looks like Piper is prepping stuff for Wanna-Bronze. I can’t wait.
Phoebe and Piper talk on the phone about how Phoebe crashed Prue’s car into a pole. It looks like Piper is prepping stuff for Wanna-Bronze. I can’t wait.