57 Posts

Tag: what are you trying to tell me zoomy camera man?

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Supernatural S03 E03 – A spot of bad luck

  • Posted byby K
  • December 10, 2014
  • 12 Comments
We open at a prison. A dude I know from One Episode of Everything Ever heads into the visiting area where he's visiting Gordon. UGH, GORDON. (A: I second this ugh.) He fills Gordon in on what happened in Wyoming, and Gordon's all "SAM WINCHESTER WAS THERE". Our random visitor, Kubrick, confirms it, but says he's heard the Winchesters were there to help. Gordon refuses to believe it, and says "Sam Winchester must die". He hangs up the phone (without saying goodbye) and we fade to black.
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Dawson’s Creek S03 E03 – Cheating won’t get you a 1430

  • Posted byby K
  • December 4, 2014
  • 16 Comments
Shrine o' Spielberg. Dawson's plans for a get-to-know-you movie night with Eve have gone awry because a) she prefers TV and b) she's taken over said TV and is making him watch Felicity. I laugh for approximately a hundred years over his "HOW CAN YOU PREFER TV?!?!?!" reaction. She says TV is the same thing but "shorter and with built in bathroom breaks" and she's not at all wrong. Dawson scoffs some more, particularly when she says it's like getting a new sequel every week, because "Sequels I hate on principle". Ugh. Go fuck yourself, Dawson Leery. I'll just be over here with Captain America: The Winter Soldier, shitting all over your arguments.
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Supernatural S02 E19 – Orange Is The New Leather Jacket

  • Posted byby K
  • November 8, 2014
  • 24 Comments
Green River County Jail. A bunch of orange-clad inmates are doing normal prison-y things, like lifting weights and playing cards. Inside, workers reopen an old cell block. When they get the door open, the back wall has dried blood on it. They collectively shudder, and their breath is visible in the air. They turn as if something's just flown between them, then papers in the hall fly everywhere.
In another cell block, Rack is lying on a bed reading. The lights flicker and he crosses to his cell door, staring into the hallway as the flickering continues.
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Dawson’s Creek S02 E18 – And then she dies.

Shrine O’Spielberg. We immediately know Dawson is depressed/lonely because he’s hanging out with his mom. They're watching his movie, and we still have only seen the Rachel Leigh Cook-as-Joey rows-on-the-creek part of the film. I would not be surprised if that were the entire movie. Anyway, Gail raves about how moving and beautiful it is.
Kirsti: She insists she's not saying any of this because she's his mother, but she totally is.
Diva: For sure. Dawson says he had a clear vision, but he couldn't bring it to life on film. (I personally don't think that's his problem. I think it's his vision that probably sucked.)
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Doctor Who S01 E02 – Dancing as the world burns

  • Posted byby K
  • October 11, 2014
  • 34 Comments
We pick up exactly where we left off, with Rose running into the TARDIS. Only this time, the shot is from the inside. The Doctor grins and asks Rose where she wants to go first - forwards or backwards in time. She picks forwards, one hundred years. The Doctor flicks some switches and gizmos on the TARDIS console, and they vworp vworp their way to the 22nd century. But when they land, the Doctor declares 100 years to be nothing and suggests going further. Rose agrees, and he flicks some console stuff again. More vworp-ing, and they're 10,000 years in the future, at the height of the New Roman Empire. Rose smirks that the Doctor thinks he's impressive, and he decides they're going further. He mans the console again and we see the TARDIS flying through a time vortex. (L: Flying with our old, dear friends, Bad Special Effects. Man, those guys stay busy!)
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Gotham S01 E02 – Cat got your eyes?

  • Posted byby Marines
  • October 1, 2014
  • 33 Comments
Baby Batman is continuing his slightly suicidal exploration of his fears by burning his hand on a candle. Alfred walks in and startles BB, who hides his burnt hand. Alfred demands to see his hand and then freaks out at the sight, calling BB stupid and shaking him into a hug. There is no other way to describe that. I'm not sure I understand what this show is doing with Alfred. (A: Me neither).
Selina Kyle sits with some of her homeless friends playing with a necklace kind of like how a cat would play with yarn. (wink.)
A van comes down the alley and puts Selina on her guard. Two overly peppy people in outfits I cannot explain jump out of the van and claim to be from the mayor's outreach program.
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Supernatural S02 E09 – Sick and twisted

  • Posted byby K
  • September 27, 2014
  • 14 Comments
Dean pulls out a gun and walks into a room where a young blond guy is tied to a chair. The guy pleads for his life as a nurse and a tough looking guy suggest that maybe this isn't the best idea ever. Dean cocks his gun and says he has no choice. Blond Guy cries that it's not in him, but Dean has no fucks to give.
He shoots twice. The screen flashes white and fades into Sam lying on the floor of a motel. He sits up, panting, as Dean rushes to his side.
FLAME ON!
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Pretty Little Liars S03 E17 – Juvie do-rags

  • Posted byby Marines
  • July 25, 2014
  • 4 Comments
It's been a while, friends, but I'm confident that things are ever as we remember in Rosewood.
Sweeney: A place in which dramatic music and zoomy cameramen keep trying to tell you that EPIC THINGS ARE HAPPENING but the actual rate of change suggests that nothing ever happens here.
Lor: Exactly. That's the city motto, I think.
We start the episode with a small peek at TOBY ABS! I mean it's dark and stuff and we're mad at Toby for being part of the A team and making Spencer cry, but yes. Abs are near.
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Pretty Little Liars S03 E16 – Watch and forget

After the horror of THE LATEST BAD THING, the girls sit around Montgomery Manse drinking tea and brooding with Aria. Hanna breezes in like a breath of fresh air, with her bubbly personality and bag of sick coping trashy pop culture, which is how Snark Ladies deal too.
Lorraine: Any time I'm sick, I think, "at least there's more time for TV!" #adult
Sweeney: The girls discuss whether or not Meredith Center Stage is sincere in her confusion over this latest development with Byron.
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Game of Thrones S04 E09 – Now my rewatch has ended.

  • Posted byby Marines
  • June 14, 2014
  • 30 Comments
Fair warning: I think this is one of the weaker episodes of the series. What can you expect when they keep us at the Wall? THE WHOLE TIME? No amount of Jon Snow's shiny hair can salvage that.
Sweeney: I thought this would be a pretty universal opinion but I saw people on Twitter gushing about it. We've assembled a crowd that shares our love of the character-driven elements of the story so I don't think our opinion will be unpopular here, but it's weird. To that end, if you're the sort of person who digs military history and battle names and that kind of thing, then maybe this episode was your jam. For the rest of us...not so much.
Lor: We start with a sweeping view of Castle Black.
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Supernatural S01 E17 – Brought to you by Tumblr

  • Posted byby K
  • June 11, 2014
  • 20 Comments
Richardson, Texas, two months ago. A group of teens walk through the woods in the middle of the night and find an abandoned log cabin.  Because they're idiots, they decide to head inside. There are all kinds of weird occult-y symbols painted on the walls and floors. The dude manning the flashlight tells his friends that "they" say there's a ghost who hides in the root cellar and strings up girls who stumble into the house. One friend is sceptical, wanting to know where he heard the legend. From his cousin, apparently. Sceptical Guy grabs the flashlight and leads the way down to the cellar. He scoffs about how all the cellar contains is random junk, but the others are staring in horror at something behind him. He turns and sees a girl hanging by her neck from the rafters. He screams and lightning flashes us to the Not!Credits.
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Angel S05 E19 – Let’s do the Time Warp again!

You know what I love? Torture scenes! And sarcasm and this blog. (Two truths and a lie, guys!) Lucky me, we kick off my final full recap (!!!) in Gunn's very own Basement Of No Seriously You Know Don't Fucking Want To Go In There (K: A+), where he's being tortured and asking what he did to deserve the torture, what with his lack of memories. He calls out for the torturing demon to wait and it actually does, though not so much because of Gunn as because the ceiling is rumbling. The basement door swings open and it's none other than Illyria. That's a weird but pleasant surprise. Torture Demon tries to stop Illyria but is easily cast aside. Illyria rips Gunn's tacky mystical Hot Topic necklace off. (L: What a relief! For our eyes...) He slowly remembers who he is and who Illyria is and explains that he can't leave unless someone else puts on the necklace. Illyria has a really intense head-cocking I'VE GOT AN IDEA FACE.
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Angel S05 E10 – TAKE IT BACK.

This episode begins by jumping back to just before Spike took that big old swig of flat Mountain Dew. He's telling Angel how fully not about him this is and then he drinks. As he does, Angel's face burns up and he screams. (K: Reminiscent of when he dreamt of marrying Buffy and then her burning up???) Then he wakes up sweating, sitting at his desk.
Meanwhile, Spike's hanging out at a strip club (K: Is this an I Know Who Killed Me crossover?) when Lindsey shows up, and Spike tells him to fuck off.
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Orphan Black S01 E05 – Parasites

  • Posted byby Marines
  • April 1, 2014
  • 8 Comments
We open in a dirty-looking room with some of that murder lighting Helena seems to carry around with her. She's passed out and a man whose face we cannot see is cleaning up her wound. Helena stirs just in time to name this man Tomas. The camera is doing all kind of unfocused zooming in and out just so we're clear that we're in the crazy part of town.
Sweeney: The part of town where they drug our friend the Zoomy Cameraman. Not even he knows what he's trying to tell us now.
Lor: Sarah's at Beth's house, video chatting with Alison, who is nervous about the fact that Helena is still out there. Plus, Alison doesn't see how Sarah quitting Beth's job is beneficial at all.