Pop quiz time everyone!
This chapter starts out by revealing Bella's feelings about basketball.
Does she:
a) Hate it
b) not care about it
or c) she's the worst.
Did you guess? That's right! The answer is she's fucking the worst and all of the above.
Previously: Edward saves Bella from a van and regrets it a lot. — Marines: Edward starts by telling us that high school is no longer purgatory, but actual hell– torment, fire...
Previously: Edward had some dirty, dark fantasies and they all involved Bella dead. — Annie: Edward is laying half-buried in snow, out in the Denali wilds. He’s being very emo about...
Previously: A stray was tracked and Dolores strayed from her loop. — Dissonance Theory Marines: 3D PRINTED ROBOTS! (It’s weird to yell at you about the credits when it’s always at...
Previously: A nice guy and an asshole roll up into the park. — The Stray Marines: 3D PRINTED ROBOTS! Dolores is in an examination room, powered down. Bernie enters and tells...
Welcome back to Rosewood everyone! The previouslies remind us that Holbrook is helping Ali, some rando named Johnny is staying in Spencer's guest house, Hanna's mom hooked up with Jason, Spencer and Toby are not on the same evidence page, and Annoying Aria wrote a fake admissions letter to trick her sleazy boyfriend's ex into getting her into college. Honestly, the previouslies were packed with lots of stuff, which is weird because I don't remember lots of stuff happening on this show, so we'll figure it out as we go, okay?
Hey, so it's been a while! I don't really know why. I do know that I always see people squeeing about this show on Twitter, and I'm not sure if it's because it's gotten better in season two or if we are seriously not watching the same show.
Catherine: SAME. I have friends who watch this and tell me it's amazing. I'm so bored. What are we missing?
Samantha: Maybe it's one of those shows that just really really falls apart upon recapping but works if you just mindlessly enjoy it?
Catherine: SAME. I have friends who watch this and tell me it's amazing. I'm so bored. What are we missing?
Samantha: Maybe it's one of those shows that just really really falls apart upon recapping but works if you just mindlessly enjoy it?
The previouslies show Tommen agreeing to be in the Cult Miltant, Cersei telling Jaime that he doesn't need to stick around because she's gonna have a trial by combat and she's already got a FrankenMountain for that, The Blackfish sassing Jaime, Sexy Septon getting killed and the Hound getting angry, and Arya getting stabbed a bunch.
Credits take us through King's Landing, Riverrun (woooo!), Winterfaux, Braavos and Meereen.
Credits take us through King's Landing, Riverrun (woooo!), Winterfaux, Braavos and Meereen.
Lucky me, I get the aftermath of the breakup! -_-
Marines: Bad news for us all: the aftermath of the breakup is basically the entire rest of this book.
K: Hooray.
In typical SMeyer fashion, we can't just read about time passing. No, no. We have to do it in the most dramatic style possible: four pages, each with a month written in the middle of it. Because, like, Bella has zero life without Edward. Geddit?
Marines: Bad news for us all: the aftermath of the breakup is basically the entire rest of this book.
K: Hooray.
In typical SMeyer fashion, we can't just read about time passing. No, no. We have to do it in the most dramatic style possible: four pages, each with a month written in the middle of it. Because, like, Bella has zero life without Edward. Geddit?
Since we're so late on posting this, I'll let you all know that in the previouslies we're reminded that Jimmy thinks Maxwell Carlisle is planning a counter-move against the Kryptonians, Astra is still evil, and Winn is still a garbage dick. Oh, and Hank is Martian Manhunter.
I honestly can't remember if any of this is even relevant to the episode but only because this episode sucked so much that I immediately blocked it out after I was done watching.
I honestly can't remember if any of this is even relevant to the episode but only because this episode sucked so much that I immediately blocked it out after I was done watching.
If you want to know why this show is MEH to watch and painful to recap, let's take today's opening scene: Supergirl is flying around and all we see is her SHADOW. Her voice over says that she's always felt like a SHADOW of a person. Are the writers even trying?
Samantha: Maybe this is the first ever attempt at letting a computer write a show and all it has to go on is bad metaphors and cliches?
Catherine: Shut up, you guys. IT'S DEEP.
Samantha: Maybe this is the first ever attempt at letting a computer write a show and all it has to go on is bad metaphors and cliches?
Catherine: Shut up, you guys. IT'S DEEP.